I am writing this in English because this somehow is a more international message I am trying to get accross here and it is nothing that can remain within the German language borders.

Dear PornHub!

First of all I have to say that reaching for the stars to make some porn in space is an amazing Idea. It is especially amazing because this is one step further to normalizing sex and porn as a natural part of being human. Awsome. But I also have some bones to pick concerning the presentation of the project. To get me to invest in this interesting idea I want more than what you have given me up to date.

It is really quite simple when you step back and look at sex as a human thing. So if you wanna go to space and make a sexy film, the first one ever made there, then make it porn for the largest audience or as many audiences possible. You are sort of representing humankind for sexy enternainment here.

Why am I saying this so early on when you have just launched your crowdfunding campaign?

Your video features the two stars you want to send up. A man and a woman. Basic, but essentially fine. Whilst Eva Lovia is sitting there in a skimpy pink number, her male co-star is wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Let that sink in. Jeans and a T-Shirt. And he is gonna be in P-O-R-N.

You. Must. Be. Kidding. Me.

Get those street clothes off that gentleman and sit him down in a pair of hotpants for FSM sake.  You wanna sell sex? Sell SEX! The whole dish and not just a part of it.

Look at the calendar. It’s friggin‘ 2015. Sell us some sexy, dammit. Yes, us people who are into guys wanna see some beefcake and maybe the odd twink plop up a bit more often than in genre like „gay“ or „for women“.  We like to look at guys, have sex with guys and even sexualize guys. And we have had it with the eternal cheesecake for the (heterosexual) erotic mind. This has been going on for ages and it is getting tiresome. This seemingly everlasting boring buffet of female bodies is fine for people who like women and fine for what may (still!) be thought as a symbol for sexyness. But this pattern is fraying. Fast.

In the name of progress and better sex for all: Give us BOTH. Hot Guys and Gals.

Anyway, you at PornHub are so dammned good at crunching numbers. Well look at those numbers and realize that in order to sell a ground breaking project for porn stars entering the spacy Version of the Mile High Club, you betta WORK!

And if you do your Work properly, this might cost double, send up enough people to quench the gay/lesbian thirst for zero g sexytimes. This might still be rudimentary in the face of the many faceted world of queer sexuality, but it would be awsomesauce. This way you would be not just reaching for space but showing how porn of the 21st centruy is supposed to work. For humankind. Not just for „men“.

In my sex and porn talk at re:publica15, it is also in English, I referred to the different gazes not as male, female, gay or straight but as andro- or gynosexual.  In this construct, the person gazed upon is more important than the person gazing. This makes it easier to grasp that humans actually do consist very roughly of 50:50 for each body type and also people correspondingly desiring the other. With a lot of queer sparkle inbetween. We all have eyes. We all are visual creatures that use PornHub. So go for it and be awsome.


Elle Nerdinger

P.S: There is no next time to do it right. This time or never. 🙂

Header Image: CC-BY-SA David Simmonds

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